1. schlongwoo:


    one time like wayy before I was born it was christmas and my grandma looked in her backyard where her pear tree was. She noticed a partridge had landed in it. A literal partridge landed in her pear tree. On christmas she had a partridge in her pear tree. So she did the logical thing and shot it and ate it merry christmas everyone

    she dun put a cartridge in that partridge 

    (Source: togamislegs, via racheeelxo)


  2. positivedoodles:

    Street harassment is not a compliment.

    (Source: pleasestopbeingsad, via hums-happily)


  3. "Bisexuals don’t exist"



  5. (Source: niniboo, via heart)


  6. Nailed it.

    (Source: princesconsuela, via mugglesneversleep)






  11. geolu:

    Jean Kirstein, master flirt.

    Dialogue blatantly ripped from Always Sunny in Philadelphia


    (via berkastcyn)


  12. swingtheserenade:

    you know since “fuck” and other swears have become such a regular part of my vocabulary they’ve begun to lose impact

    so instead I’ve come to realize I’m using non swear words like “heck” for some sort of twisted ironic emphasis 

    I have come full circle

    (Source: blaqkbat, via heart)



  14. suspend:

    i want kids but im scared they’ll blame me if theyre ugly

    (via heart)


  15. infiinite3scape:

    I think we all have that one person that we never truley get over, that we still think about right before bed everynight, or you will always jump at a chance to talk to ever tho you know you shouldn’t talk to, or the first person you think of whenever you’re drunk.

    (Source: infiinite3scape, via heart)